Eight months

Well, I've lost count of how many months it's been...let's see...yes, it's been eight months.  Our family's adjustment has continued to have many ups and downs and is progressing very normally.  Victoria is discovering a little more every day the joys, hardships and responsibilities of being part of her new family.  John and I have been adjusting to being parents of a child with special physical needs and a child who has spent nearly six years of her life in an orphanage.  We are making slow and steady progress in both areas, although it is very easy to become discouraged.  Jocylin and Cherith have been learning what it is to be siblings to a child like Victoria and have matured so much due to this experience.  I can't tell you how proud I am of them! 

We enjoyed the summer months by having lots of family picnics, going to the zoo, picking strawberries, eating our way through the MN State Fair and visiting the apple orchard.  About a month ago we received Victoria's adapted bike.  Thank God, all $1800 of the expense was covered with grant money!  She really loves it.  John has been working with her on the nice days and she can pedal some on her own now.  The doctors have recommended biking as a good form of exercise for her.  We are still waiting to receive the manual wheelchair that we ordered for her a couple of months ago, but we just received a loaner chair that Victoria can use until she gets her own.  This will help immensely!

We decided to enroll Victoria in the kindergarten program at FBCS this year.  Our little social bug loves it!  We were concerned that she may not be able to handle it yet, because she was so far behind.  However, she seems to be doing well and picking things up fairly naturally.  She also has been loving the AWANA program at our church and has surprised us at how she can keep up in her bookwork.  I can't say that her progress is effortless.  It has taken much effort on both her part and our part, but we're thankful that she can at least make that progress.  We hope it will continue as she learns more English and adapts to being an American child who belongs in a family. 

As most of you know, we are anticipating more changes to come!  Our family is preparing to welcome our fourth little girl in January!  Victoria, Jocylin and Cherith seem to be doing well with the news and are getting ready to be good helpers.  Oh and by the way, don't be surprised if this blog doesn't slowly turn into more of a family blog rather than an adoption blog.  While adoption will always be a significant and special part of our family, the time has come to begin to focus less on adoption and more on our family as a whole.  There will still be adoption updates to be sure, but you may start seeing more about the rest of the family too! 

Adoption has caused us to continually learn about the patience, love and mercy that God has with those of us who have trusted Jesus as our Savior, his adopted sons and daughters.  Although God has adopted us and made us His children; sadly, we often still behave like children of this world, just as Victoria often behaves as a child of a Bulgarian orphanage.  Though the remnants of our past nature are often with us, God has chosen to love us for who we are and see past this to who we can be in Him.  I’m so thankful for God’s grace and mercy, and I pray so often that God would give me His amazing love for Victoria when I can only see a pathetic little orphan child.  I also pray that Victoria, Jocylin, Cherith, and our new baby girl will all in time begin their own faith journeys as they trust Christ as their Savior and follow the paths that He has laid out for them.  

4 months and counting...

Victoria beginning her new life as an Isenberg

Victoria four months later

We've had Victoria home for over four months now...and no, it's not peaches and cream.  It's hard, agonizing work.  It takes so much time and patience (both of which I need more of) teaching everything from square one, i.e. this is an appropriate way to talk; this is the way you should touch people; here is how to put a puzzle together; try to sing on the right note, Honey; think through this, how will you put this toy away?; etc. It is amazing to me what one misses by not having a family to grow up in for almost six years.  I truly didn't know how much a child actually picks up by just living in a family.  Although we have come a long way with Victoria, we have a long, long way to go.  Yes, I am exhausted by the end of the day, but when I see my oldest daughter sitting beside us in church being exposed  for the first times to things of God that are most precious to us, or singing Bible songs in the back seat of the van with her sisters, or having independence in ways that she has never experienced before, or learning about America, the country that is offering her so much opportunity to learn, grow and thrive, I know this as surely as I know my exhaustion: it is worth it all! 

We have been very busy with Victoria's weekly therapy, and she continues to improve.  We have obtained ankle braces and a walker for her that have greatly improved her independence.  Next on the list is purchasing an adapted bike, per doctor recommendation, so that she can continue to exercise (and keep up with her sisters) - it also will be able to be hooked like a tandem bike to John's or my bike for longer distances.  Unfortunately, it is very expensive (we've applied for some grants, and are hoping to hear back soon), but she is so very excited about it.  We also are in the beginning stages of obtaining a manual wheelchair to use out in the community for longer distances instead of the stroller that she has very much grown out of.  All of these changes have come in fairly short order, and we're thankful for God's provision to this point.

Victoria herself has also grown.  We found out that she has grown two inches in the last four months and gained a healthy amount of weight along with it!  Wow!  I'm still in shock!  No wonder I can't find any clothes that fit her!  She continues to learn English, but has a tendency to talk faster than she can think.  (If you're talking with her, don't be afraid to tell her to slow down.)  We encourage her to "talk American", which means slower and not so nasally :).

I took a minute to look at "before and after" pictures of our little girl (see above).  I was not expecting to see a huge difference - and maybe it's not obvious to anyone else - but to me I'm seeing quite a change in just four months.  I see more trust in her eyes, a healthy fullness to her face, a bit more of a smile, and a little more maturity.  Thank God for these blessings as we continue day by day to help Victoria become everything He made her to be!

Sister love!

Watching the goldfinches at the feeder.

 

This is a picture of a bike similar to the one we are ordering for Victoria - only hers will be green!

 

The "new normal" becoming "normal"

It's been over a month since I last posted.  The time has really flown by!  We've had Victoria for..I've lost count, let's see...almost 3 months now.  (She has been home for almost 2 and 1/2.)  Like I've told many people who ask how it's going, we take two steps forward and one back, but that's parenting, adoptive or not.  It's beginning to feel "normal" now.  Victoria is doing well and continuing to adjust.  She continues to get along with her sisters like they've known each other all their lives.  John and I are a little more slowly, but surely, adjusting to being her parents. 

Victoria has adjusted to our lifestyle and language very well.  Our days are very busy, but routine.  She has learned the basic colors, numbers to 10, and is now learning letters and the sounds that they make.  She is very bright and picks things up quickly.  Victoria loves singing songs from her classes at church.  She speaks mostly in broken English now and rarely uses a Bulgarian word.  Her pronunciation and vocabulary are getting better all the time.

We have also begun weekly physical therapy for her at Gillette Children's Clinic in Maple Grove.  (It's such a blessing not to drive to St. Paul every week!)  She is so excited that she can ride "her bike" there (a modified tricycle) and is so proud of herself!  We hope that the physical therapy will help her to build some strength where possible and maintain her strength as long as she can.  We also have a walker on order.  We'll see how long it will take for her to adapt to it.

We continue to encourage Victoria to be as independent as possible.  She dresses herself, makes her bed, takes her dishes to the counter after meals and helps with cleaning up toys and folding laundry.  We encourage her to walk around the house as much as she can.  She loves attention and praise for doing a good job.  We can see her maturing little by little and know that we have many years of orphanage imprint to unwrap.  She has done so well to this point - something to be very thankful for.    

First family picnic this spring!

After our long winter we finally went to Como Zoo, had a picnic and saw the animals last Saturday - a favorite family tradition of ours.  John's mom was able to meet Victoria for the first time and join our family on the adventure.  It was a little chilly and cloudy with a few sprinkles, but the day was still very enjoyable.


Our feeble attempts at a family picture:

 

 

The girls had fun playing with Grandma!

...even if you don't notice it here!

Daddy splurged and bought cotton candy.  The second time our two American born girls have had it in their lives.  I imagine it was the first time Victoria tasted it.  Sticky hands and faces!

 

Not too sure about that stuff!

When we saw the gorillas first thing, Victoria was scared to death!  She calmed down shortly thereafter and decided that she liked visiting the zoo. 

 

We had a fun family day!  Ciao-ciao!  Bye-bye!

Happy birthday, Victoria!

April 12th was Victoria's 6th birthday!  We had a very busy day.  The girls and I celebrated in the morning with doughnuts and strawberries.  Victoria seemed to like the doughnuts, but she wanted me to cut off the frosting! 

After being out in the morning, Victoria and I met John at the U of M campus for an appointment with a neurologist.  Unfortunately, the only time this could be scheduled was her birthday.  It made it easier that there were no "owies", and she didn't seem to mind having some time with Daddy and Mommy by herself.  On our way home Victoria and I stopped by Dairy Queen and I let her choose a cake. 

Then by Victoria's request, we had macaroni and cheese and spinach salad (Mommy's request) for supper.  
 Victoria enjoyed blowing out the candles on her cake, and, of course, Joyclin and Cherith got a turn too!   All three ate all of their cake!  Yum!  Yum!

 She really enjoyed being sung to and learned the "Happy Birthday" song herself - she sang it over and over!  She was pretty excited that it was her birthday.

  We will celebrate a little more on Friday night and have gifts then.  Victoria didn't even seem to miss opening gifts on her birthday.  I'm guessing that is a part of birthdays that she is not used to. 

Happy birthday, Victoria!  We love you!

One month

We've had Victoria home for a month now!  What a month it has been!  We all continue to adjust - adjust has been the operative word!  It seems we are continually tweaking something in our routine, or otherwise, to better meet the needs.  I have to admit that this month has been mostly focused on survival.  We are easing into "real life" now, which will bring further adjustments.  (I finally got to exercise again this morning!)  We knew that this would be a long haul, and it's proving to be true.  There are many times we have been overwhelmed and exhausted with what God has given us to do, but we're thankful for God's grace and strength.

Victoria is doing well, all things considered.  She has definitely picked up the family routine (as much as there is of it right now), and is constantly learning new English phrases and the meanings of them.  She dresses and toilets herself and makes her own bed.  A couple of days ago, she told John and me, "Look at me!".  One tricky thing that we've been trying to overcome is her demand for our constant attention - which she does not need and neither will she receive.  We have asked our Heavenly Father for much wisdom, patience and love for her, and I believe He is supplying it - slowly but surely.  I also believe that she is starting to make some headway with her attitude as well.

Victoria has enjoyed getting to know her Grandpa Hallada and Uncles Tom and Todd.  We spend a lot of time with them and she has adapted to this routine very well.  She cheers right along with the other girls when they are told that we get to see them soon.  Victoria also was able to meet two sets of great grandparents who were here for a visit.  She was able to talk to her Grandma Isenberg on the phone last week and will be meeting her soon too.  She seems to enjoy meeting family members.

Victoria was able to have her dental check up last week, and to our surprise has very healthy teeth!  This was very unexpected, related to her history of living in an orphanage; but we knew she did have good care there.  It's a blessing not to have to undergo a lot of dental work for her right now.  We have an appointment with the International Adoption Clinic at the U of M on Wednesday (the 6th of April) to begin working on her plan of care.  We'll see how that goes.

Jocylin and Cherith are still adjusting well.  They play and quarrel with Victoria - just like sisters.  Surprise, surprise!  We are definitely reciting "Be ye kind one to another" a lot!  Victoria has been going into Sunday School and Cubbies with Jocylin for the last couple of weeks.  Jocylin has been a good helper with many tasks throughout the day as she helps Mommy and her "new sister".  Cherith is still working to say Victoria's name.  It has been coming out "Bactoria" - it sounds as bad as it looks!  When I tried to help her say "Vic".  It came out "Vic-Bactoria".  Funny!

Thank you for your prayers as we get back in to the new normal of our lives!

Reading library books!

Making "snow angels" for Daddy

Three weeks

Well, we're a little over the three week mark of having Victoria in the United States with us.  These three weeks have not been without difficulty, but things are gradually progressing in the right direction.  Our sickness is virtually gone - just a tired daddy and mommy taking care of children with the after-sickness crabbies.  (Are mine the only children who are crabby after they are sick?)  Victoria has not been sick (she's the only one!).  She does tend to tattle and whine quite a bit now, which gets to be frustrating for those listening (often me, I confess).  I think that is because she doesn't feel totally in control of the situation.  However, as a whole she is adapting well to our family and we to her.

John has been back to work for about two weeks now.  Victoria at first really pouted when she woke in the morning and found that Daddy had gone to work.   She would ask about him several times during the day and pout then too.  Thankfully, she has changed quite a bit in a couple of weeks.  Lately, she asks about Daddy when she wakes up, after I tell her that he is at work she says calmly "later" (in Bulgarian) and proceeds through her day.  Tonight we're going to give her one more challenge.  John and I are going to try to go out on a much needed date (we haven't even celebrated his birthday yet), and the girls will stay with a very capable sitter.  We hope that Victoria will trust us enough to let us go for a while.  We've tried to prepare her a little bit for tonight in whatever language we speak now (English with some Bulgarian mixed in).  Never have we faced a date with such anticipation and dread in the same moment!  This is worse than leaving a newborn baby!  We'll see what happens...

As far as learning the English language, Victoria seems to be doing well.  She has picked up many English words.  During her early exploration of our toys she found the Alphabet song.  That is, by far, her favorite English song to sing.  She doesn't have the letters exactly right, but I have a feeling she will before long.  She also has learned how to count to ten in English with very little help.  She has copied her name in English letters and has done very well for a five year old.  What is funny is that Jocylin and Cherith have done some of their own learning too.  It is not uncommon for them to come to John or I and ask for something with a Bulgarian word thrown in!  It makes me laugh every time!

We have several doctors appointments scheduled in the months of April and May that we would request prayer for.  The most important ones are to confirm her diagnosis and form a plan of care for her.  There are some things that are largely resting on this appointment (i.e. physical therapy, procurement of a walker, our own knowledge of her needed care, etc.) that will make it easier to help her in the days/months to come.  However, we anticipate the appointments to be fairly traumatic for her, which will be hard to bear.

Thank you all for your concern and prayers!  We appreciate them more than we can say.